Yesterday, John Scalzi drove down I-75 and, surprising me in my office where I was doing some late night crusading attorney general type work, he disfigured half my face with acid.*
For some reason, this has driven me to adopt a stylish split-level wardrobe and to concoct elaborate-if-easily-foiled plans to rob banks that depend on the flip of the coin. Also, I mysteriously blame Christian Bale for my condition, despite the fact that, let's be honest, it's pretty hard to confuse him with Scalzi.
*Technically, he used Photoshop, but his Photoshopping style can definitely be described as acidic.